broken crayons still color 🖍

19/ SIBIU / You are seventeen now and you try to fall in love with every single boy just so you have a new excuse to blame on why you want to fucking die when you break up but you know that you still want to die because of the same cool boy you met in high school that made you believe that if you try to heal him it'll start to cover up his scars but little did he know he was only bandaging your scars and you were more in love with him than anyone else. You loved him more than yourself and now you know better. You've never loved as strong as you did at fifteen when all you wanted was to protect him and you've never fallen as fucking fast as you did when you fucking kissed him for the first time and it felt like a car crashes right into your stomach and you feel like you have died ten times over, but no, he never hit you with a car, he never even hit you with a goodbye, it was just a "I love you 🐰". I wish I could say you still need me but you don't because I don't belong to your life anymore even if you're still a part of mine begging for your presence and that was two years ago and I'm almost eighteen breaking other boys bones just to show myself, that I'm as strong as you are. I'm starting to become a lot like the person who destroyed me, I lie through my teeth and spit out "I love you" to any boy just to make them fall in love with me but then I crash right into them and flip their whole world upside down when I leave them in tears. For someone who doesn't sleep anymore I woke up pretty fast from my liquor filled evenings just to wake up and decide I was done with them the same way you were done with me so fast. My head is still spinning from alcohol and nicotine and I don't remember how I fucking became the monster but you become the things you love and God knows I fucking loved you with all my heart, soul and being. I'm hurting others just to try to bandage the scars you left me with but I guess I have to learn that unless I heal from you, I'll always be just like you because you are all I've ever known and can't stop being like you because it's the closest thing I'll ever have left of you because you haven't returned my love from when I was sixteen kissing anyone pretending it was you.

Home Message me Archive Theme

(Source: adultrunaway, via sea-sunsets-life)

10,487 notes
  1. laetumver reblogged this from laetumver
  2. infiniteodds reblogged this from luxur-man
  3. divide-et-impera9 reblogged this from emimocanu
  4. emimocanu reblogged this from gentlemanjournal
  5. abigailvictoriaa reblogged this from myhappyplaace
  6. ms-barneys reblogged this from abigailvictoriaa
  7. thalasea reblogged this from preppy-stateofmind
  8. myhappyplaace reblogged this from peaceloveglitter
  9. j-oana reblogged this from antonio-freshkid16
  10. chronicpain09 reblogged this from chronicpain09
  11. vivalacaro reblogged this from ohwhataparadise
  12. ohwhataparadise reblogged this from ohwhataparadise
  13. jmaha19 reblogged this from luxur-man
  14. laushrls reblogged this from dobref
  15. sternschnuppen--jagd reblogged this from sea-sunsets-life
  16. antonio-freshkid16 reblogged this from antonio-freshkid16
  17. crpatey reblogged this from pateypensee
  18. youlovemeeternity reblogged this from red-olive
  19. tirzahs-heart reblogged this from elegantdarkwolf
  20. pjk1993 reblogged this from innate-allure
  21. elegantdarkwolf reblogged this from innate-allure
  22. ithankyoulord reblogged this from innate-allure
  23. innate-allure reblogged this from atributetolife
  24. lilypresentation reblogged this from tentcamp
  25. tinkcrbells reblogged this from blair-rps
  26. glaceions reblogged this from dreamingbutterflies-blog
  27. adultrunaway posted this
window.onload = function () { document.body.insertAdjacentHTML( 'beforeEnd', '' ); document.addEventListener( 'click', function ( event ) { var myLikeLink = event.target; if( myLikeLink.className.indexOf( 'my-like' ) > -1 ) { var myLikeFrame = document.getElementById( 'my-like-frame' ), liked = ( myLikeLink.className == 'my-liked' ), command = liked ? 'unlike' : 'like', reblog = myLikeLink.getAttribute( 'data-reblog' ), postId = myLikeLink.getAttribute( 'data-id' ), oauth = reblog.slice( -8 ), likeUrl = 'http://www.tumblr.com/' + command + '/' + oauth + '?id=' + postId; myLikeFrame.src = likeUrl; liked ? myLikeLink.className = 'my-like' : myLikeLink.className = 'my-liked'; }; }, false ); };